More funny sayings

[After writing a small tag on some scissors that are reserved for cutting hair:]
"That's not too unmistakable, is it?"

[After I sucked in my gut to make myself look skinnier:]
"I wish I could suck in my hips."

[When Brianna was acting up close to bedtime:]
"Brianna, your minutes are numbered."

[After sniffing Brianna's butt and determining that she had pooped:]
"Smells just like the others."

[After watching the movie "The Two Towers" which Laura thought was too long:]
Jack: "I wonder what it was rated."
Laura: "Uh, V for Violent, L for Long, and S for Slow."