Friday, April 29, 2005

Coffee, and more coffee

[After a long, hard night holding a sick baby.]

Jack: You didn't get much sleep last night. How are you going to survive?
Laura: See this coffee? Four of its best friends are going to visit me today.

Preschool application

[Laura was filling out a pre-kindergarten application and was perplexed at one of the questions.]

Laura: Look at this question: 'How does your child use his/her leisure time?' What would you say? 'Driving me crazy, ruining our stuff, and just having a bad attitude'?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

That goes unsaid

Jack: You look pretty tired this morning. You should treat yourself to a Starbucks coffee.
Laura: That goes unsaid.

If you like these...

If you like these posts, you'll probably get a kick out of another blog I started that chronicles the funny things my kids said. (Currently only the 3-year old can talk, but I expect our 6-month old to generate some laughable quotes when his time comes.)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Four-course meal

Jack (proud of himself for getting into work early and coming home early): I came home early today.
Laura (wanting to share in the joy): Yeah, and I cooked a four-course meal!
Jack (thinking of the cream-of-wheat and peas they had for dinner but not wanting to sound critical): Was it four?
Laura: Well, there were four bowls on the table...if you count the tub of butter.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Pacifier attendant

[After Laura got up to calm Jason by reinserting his pacifier:]

Jack: "Don't you feel like a pacifier attendant?"
Laura: "Yeah, the pay is terrible and the benefits suck. Literally."


Laura: "I like those Minicoopers. I want one of them. After our kids are grown up, I'm going to trade in our minivan for a minicooper. Then when our kids drop off their kids and say, 'Raise them', I'll be able to say, 'Sorry, all I have is this minicooper now.'"

Investing with Laura

Jack (filling out a form): "Hey sweetie, do you want to be a 'Joint Tenant with Rights of Survivorship' and get all my money when I die?"
Laura: "Isn't there anything better? Like, I get all your money all the time?"

More threats

Laura: "Is it hot in here?"
Jack: "It's pleasantly warm."
Laura: "I'm dying."
Jack: "You're a woman of extremes, aren't you."
Laura: "No, but if you say that again..."

Laura composes a math problem

[After I referred to myself (perhaps unjustifiably) as a mathematician.]

Laura: "You're a mathematician?"
Jack: "Well, I've always had an interest in it, and I know a lot."
Laura: "Really? You know a lot?"
Jack: "Go ahead, ask me something."
Laura: "Uh, okay. A train leaves L.A at 3pm for Chicago. Another train is leaving Chicago.... Um, count the trains."

Counting money

[One night when I came home earlier than usual from counting the church offering money:]
Laura: "That was quick. What d'ya do, 'One for me, one for you, high five, and go'?"

Never get between Laura and her coffee

Laura (holding out her hand for my wallet): "Hand it over."
Jack: "Oh, you want coffee." (And then, knowing full well that a large Starbucks coffee costs over $3.00, and pulling a single dollar bill from his wallet): "Hmm, I wonder what you could get for a dollar..."
Laura (without missing a beat): "You could get hurt."