Spousal feedback

[At work, we sometimes do "peer reviews" where we give honest feedback to our peers about what they are doing well and what they could improve on. Laura had a typical reaction to this.]

Laura: Maybe you could "peer review" me ... but it better be positive ... or I'll punch you!

Colicky babies

Whenever our kids misbehave, they're "my kids". Sometimes, if Laura is feeling generous enough to not blame their behavior entirely on me, the conversation might go something like this:

Laura: "Where did we get these kids?"
Jack: "Well, I know where one of them came from. I was there in the delivery room when the baby came out."
Laura: "Yes, but you didn't actually watch it come out!"
Jack: "I didn't want to faint."
Laura: "So you have no proof!"
Jack: "But there's only one place it could have come from."
Laura: "What if the doctor pulled a baby out of his pocket?"
Jack: "Sure, that's plausible."
Laura: "You never know. They have to do something with those colicky babies!"