Whenever our kids misbehave, they're "my kids". Sometimes, if Laura is feeling generous enough to not blame their behavior entirely on me, the conversation might go something like this:
Laura: "Where did we get these kids?"
Jack: "Well, I know where one of them came from. I was there in the delivery room when the baby came out."
Laura: "Yes, but you didn't actually watch it come out!"
Jack: "I didn't want to faint."
Laura: "So you have no proof!"
Jack: "But there's only one place it could have come from."
Laura: "What if the doctor pulled a baby out of his pocket?"
Jack: "Sure, that's plausible."
Laura: "You never know. They have to do something with those colicky babies!"
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