Google usability study

[Laura agreed to participate in a Google usability study. On the morning that they were coming over she was all stressed out.]

Laura: "I don't want to do this. They're going to think I'm stupid."
Jack: "Sweetie, it's not a test. They're not evaluating you, they're evaluating the software. If something is hard to do then it's a problem with the user interface, not with you."
Laura: "They're going to think I'm dumber than a chimp."
Jack: "Did I mention that I told them you were an expert in HTML? (just kidding)"
Laura: "I'm going to punch you."
Jack: "Oh, and by the way, this will be video-taped for later analysis."
Laura: "Oh great, so later they will have a split-screen movie comparing me with a chimp. The chimp will be going 'click, click, click' and I'll be going 'Whaaat...?' and they'll be going 'ha, ha, ha'!"

Some random sayings

Here are some Laura sayings for which I don't remember the context.

"Does a tree fall if no one is looking at it?"

"I can only lead you to water, push you in, and hold your head under. I can't make you swallow."

A Small Vocabulary

[Laura objects to my publishing her cute sayings. One night when I wrote something funny down, she threatened a new course of action...]

Laura: From now on, I'm only going to say one-syllable things and words that start with boring.

The Opposite of Ambiguous

[Laura sometimes places shoes or other things partway up the stairs, figuring that one of us will carry them the rest of the way the next time we go upstairs. When I walk on by and she later asks my why I didn't carry the shoes (or clothes or whatever) up the stairs I explain that I didn't know if they were going up or down. This was actually true at one time, but lately I use the excuse just for humor value. The latest exchange went something like this...]

Laura: Didn't you see the shoes on the stairs?
Jack: Oh, uh...yeah.
Laura: Why didn't you bring them up with you?
Jack [knowingly using an old excuse]: I didn't know if they were going up or down.
Laura: If I put it on the stairs, it's going up!
Jack: Well, sometimes the dirty clothes basket goes down the stairs.
Laura: That's only when it's at the top of the stairs. I never carry something partway down the stairs! On the stairs means it's going up!
Jack: Okay. Still, it's ambiguous.
Laura: It is not ambiguous. It is so biguous!