Yesterday's Toys

Laura was recounting a whiny episode from our 4-year-old Brianna (who is much better off than she realizes):

"Brianna complained, 'I have only ugly toys! Everyone else has pretty toys!'
I just stared at her. What was I supposed to say to that: 'Yeah, well, other parents love their kids'?"

A Nutty Date

[After eating a dessert with something that looked like nuts, even though the restaurant said it didn't have nuts...]

Jack: "Yeah, I think those were nuts."
Laura: "How can you tell?"
Jack: "I can feel it on my tongue."
Laura: "What does your tongue feel like? ... Long and squishy?"

[Later, after I had eaten around the nuts...]

Jack: "Want some of my dessert?"
Laura: "No thanks."
Jack: "It's really good..."
Laura: "I'm so full I can't even handle any air!"

[On the drive home, she helped me find my sunglasses.]

Laura: "Now it's your turn to help me."
Jack: "What do you want?"
Laura: "You need to help me in the house. Grease up the door frame and push me from behind really hard."