[After eating a dessert with something that looked like nuts, even though the restaurant said it didn't have nuts...]
Jack: "Yeah, I think those were nuts."
Laura: "How can you tell?"
Jack: "I can feel it on my tongue."
Laura: "What does your tongue feel like? ... Long and squishy?"
[Later, after I had eaten around the nuts...]
Jack: "Want some of my dessert?"
Laura: "No thanks."
Jack: "It's really good..."
Laura: "I'm so full I can't even handle any air!"
[On the drive home, she helped me find my sunglasses.]
Laura: "Now it's your turn to help me."
Jack: "What do you want?"
Laura: "You need to help me in the house. Grease up the door frame and push me from behind really hard."
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My wife Laura is one of the most spontaneous and expressive friends I have the pleasure of knowing. She constantly spouts many outrageously funny sayings, seemingly unintentionally. Here are some of the things she has said that I managed to write down before she tackled me. Some background information: Laura is not quite 5 feet tall and works hard at home being a mom to Brianna and Jason.
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