Morse code punches

[On Saturday morning, Laura often hints that she would like me to go out and get her a coffee from Starbucks. This despite the fact that she already has a homemade coffee in her hand. But I've learned not to toy with her...]

Laura: "You know what would be fun?"
Jack (playing dumb): "Um, I dunno, playing video games all day long...?"
Laura (giving me the evil eye): "You know what would be fun?"
Jack: "Hmm, I give up. Can you give me a hint?"
Laura makes hand gestures, acting out my part: driving to Starbucks, buying a coffee, and bringing it home.
Jack (still playing dumb): "I don't understand. Can you make it more clear?"
Laura (punching her fists in the air): "Come closer and I'll punch it out in Morse code!
   G-E-T  M-E  A  C-O-F-F-E-E!"

Flag Football For 3rd-graders

[We were watching our 9-year-old son play back-to-back games of flag football with other 3rd-graders. If you've ever seen 9-year-olds playing flag football, you know that this is a sport that only parents would ever spectate.]

Jason: I'm out of water.
Laura: Have some of Dad's Dr. Pepper.
Jack: So you're actually letting Jason have caffeine now, eh?
Laura: Well, maybe that will make him play better. And, you know, there could be scouts watching...