I've got a finger for you...

[Laura showed Jack a generous Christmas check from her mom.]

Jack: That's really nice. Hmm, what can I buy with that?
Laura: It says, "For Laura's coffee habit."
Jack: No, I think it says, "For Jack's robot hands."
Laura: Ha, you don't even get a robot finger. But if you did, I can tell you what finger it would be!

Beatings, beatings

Brianna: Dad, can you butter my waffles please?
Dad: What? You know how to butter your waffles. You do it every morning.
Brianna: Yes, but you helped Jason with the microwave.
Dad: Ah, so you're jealous of me helping Jason...
Laura: Shall I beat on her?
Dad: Violence is not the answer to everything, Dear.
Laura: I'll beat on you next.