It's never the woman's fault

[Laura was driving pretty fast approaching a tight curve in the road.]

Jack: Not too fast, dear...
Laura: You shouldn't say, "Not too fast"; you should say, "The road isn't straight enough."

Territorial diplomacy in a hotel bed

[We had to share a small hotel bed and we had a lot less space than the king-size bed that we're used to at home.]

Jack: "We're both going to have to try to get along."
Laura: "But one of us should try harder than the other."