Fewer whackings

Jack: "I didn't sleep so well last night. My head was kind of stuffed up."
Laura: "You should take an aspirin, a vitamin C, and tell me how pretty I am."
Jack: "You're so pretty."
Laura: "See, doesn't that make you feel better?"
Jack: "I imagine it makes you feel better."
Laura: "You'll feel better too because I won't whack you nearly as much!"

Church paranoia

[Laura and I sat down in church and started scanning through the announcements in the church bulletin...]

Laura: "Let's see ... does it say anything bad about us?"