Chocolate mousse flambé

Jack: "We're having a Finance committee meeting at our house tonight."
Laura: "So you'll need some snacks."
Jack: "Oh...uh...right."
Laura: "Oh boy. You should have told me. I just went shopping."
Jack: "Well, maybe you could whip up something...let's see...I think I would like chocolate mousse flambé please."
Laura: "I don't even know how to spell flambé."
Jack [teasing]: "You don't play the domestic submissive wife very well."
Laura: "I never got that memo. I think I flambé-ed it."

A Measure of Trust

Jack [in a position to tickle Laura's feet but holding back]: "Don't you trust me?"
Laura: "Not as far as I can roll you."

[The usual saying is something like "I trust him about as far as I can throw him" meaning "not very far at all". But Laura could probably roll me quite a distance. So she does trust me!]

Charity starts at home

[After attempting to tickle Laura...]

Laura: "Being nice starts with you."

Sounds like "Run away!"

Toddlers clearly understand language before they can speak it. Our 18-month old Jason, for example, can usually understand simple commands. Whether he wants to obey those commands is a different question...

Laura: "Jason, lie down so I can change your diaper..."
Laura [chasing Jason]: "No, not 'Run away'! That sounds completely different from 'Lie down'."
Laura [still chasing Jason]: "Jason! Argh! You're making gray hairs pop out all over!"