Lazy phone threats

[On the phone one day...]

Laura: "Don't make me put down these bon-bons to threaten you..."

and when I paused to write that down:

Laura: "I will not contribute to the delinquency of your web page."
Jack: "You just did."

Rock, Scissors, Paper

[Jason had just awakened from a nap. Laura and I both were hoping the other would go upstairs and fetch him.]

Jack: "I think I hear Jason. Want to play 'Rock, Scissors, Paper' to see who gets him?"
Laura: "I'm tired."
Jack: "That's okay, you can just tell me what you would have picked, and then I'll tell you what I picked." [chuckle]

[Laura recounts all the chores she has done so far that day...]

Jack: "So what you're saying is you don't want to play 'rock, scissors, paper'?"
Laura: "No, because if I lose I'll just cry and make you feel guilty until you go upstairs anyway."
Jack: "Wow, most women aren't so blatant about their manipulative powers."