Don't get mouthy

[On Valentine's Day, I was sick and feeling cold. Usually it's Laura who is either "freezing" or "boiling hot" but this time it was my turn to exaggerate.]

Jack: "On a scale of 'Very Cold' to 'Extremely Bitterly Cold', how cold would you say it is in here?"
Laura: "Not very."
Jack: "I'm freezing....brrr."
Laura: "I'm in short sleeves and I'm fine."
Jack: "So what you're saying is that you're having hot flashes, then? How old are you now?"
Laura: "Really? You're messing with me on Valentine's Day? I can see your headstone: 'Here lies Jack. He got mouthy on Valentine's Day.'"

Baby complaints go here

Laura (trying to clean up our 1-year old Jason): "Jason, hold still. I need to wipe your face."
Jason (complaining): "Wah, wah."
Laura: "Yeah, tell it to your Congressman."

Not to be too blunt, but...

Jack: "What's that on Brianna's cheek?"
Laura (glancing at Brianna): "Filth. Any other questions?"

Super Bowl Time-shifted

[Tivo is great for recording shows but sometimes it seems there is just too much to watch. We recorded the Super Bowl but didn't start watching it until Sunday night...]

Laura: "I guess we should start watching that Super Bowl. It's not going to watch itself."

Super Bowl Couch Potatoes

[After hours of watching the Super Bowl, sprawled out on the couch:]

Laura: "Okay, I'm going to get up and start working."
Jack: "Aw, you don't have to."
Laura: "No, I meant, I'm going to sit up and start crocheting."

Clones are different

[After describing the movie "The Island" to Laura and mentioning the DNA tests for the escaped clones:]

Laura: "Will they be able to tell that they are clones?"
Jack: "No, the DNA is identical."
Laura: "But maybe it's a little different."
Jack: "No, they're clones. That means they have the same DNA."
Laura: "Maybe not exactly the same."
Jack: "The DNA is identical. That's what cloning is. IDENTICAL DNA."
Laura (under her breath): "Different."
Jack: "You're being silly. And obstinate. And stubborn."
Laura: "You forgot belligerent." (then, under her breath) "Different."

Cold popcorn recipe

Jack (helping himself to some leftover microwaved popcorn): "Mmm, this popcorn is pretty good..."
Laura (feigning modesty): "Well, it's an old family recipe."